I just got an email telling me that Amazon is sending me a pair of shoelaces by FedEx. I didn’t pay to have shoelaces rushed to a turboprop plane waiting on a runway in the dead of night, and I don’t feel any particular urgency about getting these laces because I figure the knot in the old pair will hold for a while, but by Jove they’re sparing no expense.
The only problem is that while I understand that sending shoelaces winging around the country at great expense is part of the grand plan that will eventually allow Amazon to dominate retail sales (1. Pay shippers about $6 to mail things that cost less than $5 and aren’t needed soon 2. ??? 3. Profit!), I just … really don’t want to be someone who gets shoelaces by FedEx. I hope the shipping label isn’t obvious, because I don’t know if I can look the driver in the eye if he knows what he’s handing me.