Monthly Archives: January 2021

This Is the Hill I Die On (Or Mast, Or Whatever)

Thanks to the global pandemic sea shanties are suddenly popular, which fine, great – it’s about time something good came out of all this death and disease. But the rise of sea shanties has meant a corresponding rise in people talking about sea shanties, which has highlighted one of the greatest horrors of the modern age:

People saying “aaargh” when they want to sound like a pirate or old-timey sailor, instead of “aaarrr”.

“Aaarrr” is clearly correct, though people of good conscience can disagree about the precise numbers of “a”s and “r”s. I will also accept “yaaaar”, as Horatio McCallister uses to start every sentence.

High Quality Simpsons sea captain Blank Meme Template
Oh, you didn’t know that “Horatio McCallister” was his real name? Well, obviously I’m more of an expert on this stuff than you, then

But “arrgh” is clearly an expression of distress, much like “augh”

PEANUTS on Twitter: "Football starts today, Charlie Brown...  http://t.co/5KMFELlxLt"
Not the least bit piratical

Can I pirate say “argh”? Sure, I guess, if the pirate in question had stubbed his toe or his parrot had pecked him in the ear or something, but so can a non-pirate, and more to the point this putative pirate wouldn’t start every sentence with “argh” like he would with “arrr”. And more importantly, we can all agree that only sea-faring types would ever say “arrr”. So let’s all agree to socially condemn people who do it wrong.

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Filed under Grammar Gripery, Words Mean Things, Dammit

Another Reason My Mail Carrier Thinks I’m a Weirdo

Though maybe he’s a Lovecraft Country fan

In case y’all were wondering what I got in the mail that was certified by one of the Great Old Ones, it’s the HP Lovecraft Historical Society’s album of carols, “A Very Scary Solstice”. And if you’re wondering why I’m just now getting a winter solstice album, well, congratulations on having everything together and always getting stuff done on time, Smuggy McGee.

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January 3, 2021 · 8:18 pm